2 October 2014

October challenge for Lyn Thurman #1 The Fool

So this is a day late! It is day 1 of Lyn Thurman's October challenge.
Today is The Fool.

Sometimes journies are chosen. Some are put before us. Others are thrust on us without even the mere consideration of how we feel or what we've been through.
Journies can be fun and amazing like flying a plane watching the world below go about all its journies. They can be dream-like. And they can be so ever so painful that you wish the book on your journey would just close.
My own journey through life has been like this full of bumps, there was a momentary amazingness but that was twisted into the worst possible pain anyone could ever imagine and it came from all sides. And yes, I wished my book would close, I wanted my journey to be over. I wanted it to end. There was nothing about my life that I loved even though there were still people in it supporting me, helping me. I know some wanted to help more than they could and I know some got peeved. I needed to help myself but I felt like everything I loved about this world drained from my heart the moment my heart was broken. Every now and again I'd get small nudges from the universe trying to persuade me that my life was worth living even if thanks to two people I felt it wasn't. That I'd lost everything in one year that meant the world to me.
Pain and suffering seemed like it was a part of me and was coming back to claim me permanently this time.
Then the universe kicked me and even though I tried drowning my sorrows in a litre bottle of orange truffle Baileys at New Year 2013, I continued to live, to wake and face everyday I learnt to take each day as it comes. I learnt to let the universe guide me. I learnt to take the small steps the universe was showing me, the lessons it wanted me to learn, knew the people it wanted in my life and those it didn't because their toxicity and lies, their words no matter how genuine or cruel cut deep and hurt and I was meant to deal with it, push them away and walk the path the universe wanted me.
Living through the negativity of that year has allowed something to blossom within me, I have changed so very much and for the better, I have learnt so much and I have so much to offer the world and finally there is nothing and no-one standing in my way holding me back, making me put them first before my own wants and needs, my own happiness. Instead the world is my oyster and I want that pearl, to learn more, to give more to this world willingly. My journey felt like it was ending but it was just beginning! I'm looking forward to learning what the universe has in store for me as the life I dreamed of slowly takes shape.


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